Andrew Klavan’s Leftese Dictionary: C is for Constitution
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Andrew Klavan’s Leftese Dictionary: C is for Constitution


– C is for Constitution. According to leftists, The
Constitution is the sacred law of the land bequeathed
to us for the greatest political thinkers of all time. No, I’m kidding they hate it. You see The Constitution
enumerates or specifies the powers of the federal
government so that Americans know that all other powers not
mentioned in the Constitution belong to the individual and the state and local governments. That’s not so good for
leftists because they want the federal government
to be able to control and limit your businesses,
your associations, your speech, your religious practices, and
anything else they don’t like. Now, the Constitution would prevent that. Unfortunately according to leftists, the Constitution is a living document. It’s not like other boring old documents that just lie around with words on them that have the same old
meanings all the time. No, as a living document, the Constitution can just wake up in the
middle of the night, drift into its study and
entirely rewrite itself so that by morning you’d
hardly even recognize it. For instance, the
Constitution used to give the federal government absolutely no power to regulate what laws the
states made regarding sex or marriage or abortion. And that was no good because
leftists know exactly what everyone should think and do about sex and marriage and abortion, so there shouldn’t be
any disagreement allowed. But remember, the Constitution is alive. So one day a living
Constitution was sitting down on the back porch washing
down a bree smeared slice of almond cake with a glass of Chardonnay when suddenly it had a
wonderful idea and lept up from the porch swing so very
quickly that The New Yorker fell from its lap before
it even had a chance to finish the 30,000
word essay on the life of French feminist
lithographer Louise Hervieu. “I know.”, the Constitution said. “I’ll just insert some new
words into the penumbra “of my emanations. “You won’t be able to see the words. “In fact, you won’t be
able to see the penumbras “and emanations either, “but you’ll know the new
words are there all right “because five unelected
justices will say they’re there. “And that will make
them magically appear.” Lickety split as quick as you
can say democracy is a thing of the past, the
Constitution rewrote itself and now allows the federal government to do just about anything it wants. Yes, a living document
is an amazing thing. You can put all the words
in it you like and yet they still remain almost
entirely meaningless until they mean exactly
what leftists want them to. C is for Constitution. I’m Andrew Klavan and this
is the leftese dictionary.

70 Comments

  • JUSTACHIPN

    CNN/LEFTIST FAKE NEWS IS MORE DANGEROUS THAN TERRORISM !!! WAKE THE FUCK UP PEOPLE !!! THEY'RE TEARING THIS COUNTRY APART WITH HATRED !!!

  • Derive Pi

    This ones not funny at all.  I love my country too much.  Have to go and re-watch A and B now to get my cheer up!

  • ThisOne

    It's supposed to be a living document in that it can be amended, but the Left only controls a few states. So instead they came up with "judicial activism". Judicial activism is the belief that the "spirit of the Constitution" is more important than what the Constitution says(textualism) or the intent of the people who ratified it was(originalism). This "spirit" is that the Constitution was meant to protect the minority who can't pass laws. This vaguely true sentiment is used to override all careful thinking, justice, and democratic process. It's kind of like the Christian who takes the true sentiment of the bible to care for people to override everything else it says about sexuality, justice, charity, and authority. Obviously this is very useful for the Left which regards itself as the champions of the victim identity groups/voting blocs. The SCOTUS becomes a super-legislature with power over Congress and state governments.

  • No Free Ride

    For the Left the Constitution is only as good as all the other groups the Left uses to advance their Marxist agenda. If they think it helps them they will use it, if they think it is an impediment to their agenda, they will demonize it. The end justifies the means.

  • David Pandone

    Excellent Andrew! I'll look forward to the next installment… in my "liked" vids listed on my channel which I recommend to visitors…

  • DR T

    Andy— nice little spin action… way to stir shit up without a fact for support. How about a little honest debate? It is more than a litle hypocritical to bemoan the lack of civility and exaggerate the differences when you are the one doing it.

  • Thomas Little

    As a leftist, I subscribe to the Daily wire so that I could possibly get a different perspective to challenge some of my own beliefs. However, I find the content to continue to be less about information and ideas and more about political polarization. It's just not interesting to watch.

  • Enon Knives

    We can know that the Constitution is alive precisely because it resists change. If it were dead, the corpse could be dragged in any direction.

  • Undefender

    In the past- Living Document a.k.a it means the same thing but is still used to govern
    Today- Living Document a.k.a it means whatever the hell we want it to mean

  • Tehemai L.

    "Haha no I'm kidding they hate it."

    Best one so far! This poor document has taken so much abuse over the years that I'll have to take their word for it on the "living and breathing" part.

  • Jay

    What were the 5 justices and imaginary words referring to?
    Some landmark case of constitutional reinterpretation? Any help is appreciated.

  • Esteban Santiago

    Not to get too radical, but citation even states, both in our Declaration for Independence, and in our own Constitution, that we are a nation of different colonies, and then states.
    We each have different upbringings and thus different views.
    We chose to come together with Respect of our different circumstances.
    Tho in the late 18th century I would have disagreed with the Federalist party, it did have many things right…
    But that is exactly the point of checks and balances…
    Today's left has no idea what that is…
    Leave most issues up to the state itself

  • andrew tyme

    So you are saying that the federal government should not decide what millions of citizens should think about sex, marriage and abortion but the state government should decide what millions of people think about sex, marriage and abortion. Because you say the constitution cannot be amended (even tho there are you knw.. amendments in the constitution including the 2nd amendment righthist love so much) ..I am not even American or in America and I think this show is so stupid.. leftist want to end hate and bigotry as even God in the Bible said thou shall not judge (whether to a homosexual or sinner) but a conservative on his third wife has the guts to decide what is right or wrong.. stupid propaganda video

  • Andres Molina

    Wow, you are a master baiter (pun intended)! You know exactly what examples to use to trigger outrage against your "leftist". It's a good tactic to get stuff done in an apathetic society, but you lose the moral and intellectual high ground. Also who wrote the constitution is irrelevant for its own sake, and it is by no means sacred. People decide and agree on how to interpret the constitution, and people decide if it needs revision. It is a good thing that elemental laws change as societies do, especially when populations grow to the extent of the modern era. Because the things we never thought of suddenly became reality and we had to update old laws and create new ones.

  • fuzzyy dice

    If leftist policies are so bad for business, how come the most left leaning states like California or New York have the biggest most successful economies? While the other the red states are all poor and barely contribute? Hell, even in the rich red states, the biggest economies there are left leaaning too.. Really makes you think.. huh?

  • Fab Elger

    hmmm after this the ,,leftists" are a really big percentage…but honestly its about as big as the opposite republican part like the t party and so…and as these mostly supported by young college people that have not yet found their way in life…

  • Fab Elger

    in germany we have a speaking that will clear up all your problems in america…cause you just exaggerate a bit on both sides..so ready..? here it is…,,a person whom is 30 years of age and has never been a socialist has no heart…but a person who is 30 years of age and STILL is one, has no brain"…just wait and see..stop all this pushing and inciting and you will see Americans as all things under the law of physics will form a bulk in the middle with lesser and lesser people to both sides of the spectrum…

  • Matt W

    These might be the dumbest videos on Youtube. Of course the Constitution is a living document. If it wasn't, women wouldn't be voting and blacks would still be in shackles. This guy is such a hack lmao, and you right wingers eat his bullshit up.

  • fred burns

    so the constitution says, and im paraphrasing, you have the right to bear arms within a well regulated militia. how is a single individual a militia, not to speak of a well regulated one? how do conservatives then respect the constitution more than liberals, if liberals stick closer to what the founding fathers wanted? can someone educate me on this, cuz im sure i mustve missed something.

  • Ricardo deluna

    I was expecting C to be for Capitalism and how its bad for the minority and good for the rich, straight, homophobic, anti color, white people.

  • vandertuber

    Actually the Constitution does include the 14th Amendment, and that specifically guarantees the Freedoms of Life, Liberty, and Property as limitations on State and Local Power. The Constitution also includes the 5th Amendment. The Declaration of Independence even states the Freedoms of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness.

  • Horrornado

    Regardless of your interpretation of this video, it is wrong and divisive.  It literally reinforces stereotypes so many already believe.  It's equivalent to saying all conservatives are toothless hillbillies who vote against their best interests or that all conservatives are racists or…I could go on.

  • Dustin Hill

    is it ok if local governments do the same bad things that the federal government shouldn't be doing? local tyranny is a problem too. #NonAggressionPrinciple #libertarian

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