Founding Fathers Fraternity
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Founding Fathers Fraternity


>>WOW, I’M QUITE NERVOUS.
THIS IS THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS GROUP ON CAMPUS.>>YEAH, WHATEVER BRO.
>>HEY FRANKLIN!>>B-FRANK!
>>SUP GUYS. WE GOT A NEW GUY.
JAMES MADISON.>>OH, WHAT’S UP?
TOM JEFFERSON.>>UH, HEY MAN.
>>ALEX HAMILTON.>>OH HEY MAN.
MAN?>>MAN.
>>WHY DOES EVERYONE ASK THAT?>>SO YOU WANT TO JOIN
THE FOUNDING FATHERS HUH?>>GEE WOULD I!
>>WELL FIRST YOU GOT TO IMPRESS WASHINGTON.>>YEAH.
>>WHO?>>GEORGE WASHINGTON!
LED OUR TROOPS TO A WINING SEASON THIS YEAR.>>YEAH.
ALMOST GOT SUSPENDED FOR THE ROWBOAT PRANK.>>WHAT WAS THAT?
>>HE GOT SOME ROWBOATS AND RUINED CHRISTMAS FOR SOME
HESSIAN FOREIGN-EXCHANGE KIDS. OH CLASSIC!
>>ALMOST GOT AWAY WITH IT TOO, BUT THEN HE TAGGED HIMSELF IN
SOME OIL PAINTING ON FACELEDGER.>>YEAH.
>>HE SOUNDS KIND OF COCKY.>>DUDE, NOT AT ALL.
>>LET’S SEE I GOT THE QUARTER, THE DOLLAR, THE CAPITAL, MY OWN STATE,
MY FACE CARVED IN THE SIDE OF MOUNTAIN, BUT I COULD USE A GIANT SPIKE
WITH MY NAME ON IT.>>YEAH!
>>THAT WAS A GREAT BATTLE MAN! YOU WERE TEARING UP THE FIELD!
>>YEAH I WAS! I CANNOT TELL A LIE.
>>OH!>>WHO’S THE NEW GUY?
>>JAMES MADISON.>>BOOM.
>>HE WANTS TO JOIN THE FOUNDING FATHERS.>>OH DOES HE NOW.
WELL HOW ABOUT FOR INITIATION HE FACES JEFFERSON IN A WRITE OFF!
>>OH!>>GEE, FELLOWS, MY PARENTS
TELL ME I’M TOO YOUNG TO WRITE.>>PLUS, WHAT IF BENEDICT RATS ON US AGAIN?
>>NO WAY MAN! WRITING IS PART OF COLONIAL LIFE!
>>HEY! ONE DOLLAR SAYS MADISON CAN’T HOLD HIS PROSE.
>>MAKE IT TWO.>>TEN!
>>HUNDRED!>>WELL, OKAY!
>>ALL RIGHT. SO THE FIRST ONE TO LAY DOWN A HISTORICALLY
SIGNIFICANT DOCUMENT WINS! QUILLS UP!
WRITE!>>WRITE!
WRITE! WRITE!
WRITE! WRITE!
WRITE! WRITE!
WRITE! WRITE!
>>BOOM!>>JEFFERSON FOR THE WIN!
>>GOT A DECLARATION FOR BRITAIN BABY! ALL MEN ARE EQUAL.
>>OH WAIT UP! EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT A MALE LANDOWNER?
>>OH, THERE’S A FOOTNOTE.>>OKAY.
>>YEAH.>>ALL RIGHT, WHAT YOU GOT MADISON?
>>I CALL IT THE CONSTITUTION.>>AH!
A BUNCH OF RULES?>>I THOUGHT WE COULD MAKE A GOVERNMENT.
>>OKAY, GOVERNMENT IS GOOD, BUT WE NEED SOME PRANKS IN HERE.
>>YES!>>PRANKING THE FUTURE AMERICA?
>>WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! I GOT IT, I GOT IT!
WE’LL PRETEND IT’S DEMOCRACY, BUT THEN WE’LL GIVE LITTLE STATES AS
MANY SENATORS AS BIG ONES!>>OH!
YEAH!>>OKAY, BUT EVERYONE GETS TO CHOOSE THE PRESIDENT
RIGHT?>>RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.
AS LONG AS YOU’RE FROM OHIO OR FLORIDA!>>OH!
>>I DON’T KNOW. IT STILL MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE TO ME.
>>THEN LET’S ADD AN ELECTORAL COLLEGE.>>THERE IT IS.
>>YES. YES!
>>NO, YOU’RE RUINING POLITICS. YOU’RE MAKING A SYSTEM WHERE
EVERYONE IS MAD AT EACH OTHER AND NO ONE KNOWS
WHAT THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT.>>GUYS, WE NEED SOME HAZING.
>>YES!>>LET’S MAKE SOME DISTRICTS.
HOW ABOUT THIS? IF YOU WANT TO JOIN POLITICS YOU
EITHER GOT TO BE ON TEAM ELEPHANT OR TEAM DONKEY.
>>OH!>>YEAH!
>>OR BETTER YET, BETTER YET, TEAM TEA PARTY.>>AH!
>>YEAH!>>OH MAN THAT SOUNDS GIRLY.
>>HAMILTON CAN JOIN RIGHT?>>OH!
>>OKAY! THAT IS IT!
THAT IS IT! FIFTH AMENDMENT, YOU CAN REMAIN SILENT.
>>FIRST AMENDMENT, I CAN SAY WHAT I WANT.>>GO IN ORDER!
>>SECOND AMENDMENT, TELL THAT TO THE HEAT I’M PACKING!
>>WHOA! OKAY!
WHOA!>>LOOK, I MAY BE A LITTLE ANDROGYNOUS–
>>THAT’S GIVING YOU A LOT OF CREDIT.>>BUT THE ONLY GIRL THAT I SEE IN
HERE IS THAT SISSY AARON BURR!>>YOU WANT TO DANCE TOUGH GUY?
>>LET’S GO!>>OH WHAT?
>>COME ON!>>LET’S TAKE IT OUTSIDE!
>>DON’T WORRY, THEY’RE JUST LETTING OFF A LITTLE STEAM.
NOTHING WILL HAPPEN I’M SURE.>>YEAH.
>>YEAH, NOT IT’S FINE.>>ALL RIGHT.
WHERE WERE WE?>>THAT’S IT!
YOU’RE ALL ACTING IMMATURE AND IRRESPONSIBLE! I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO BE A
FOUNDING FATHER. [SPEWS]>>AH, WHAT IS THIS?
>>I DON’T KNOW. SAM ADAMS MADE IT.
>>NO ONE SHOULD EVER DRINK THIS.>>UH, I DON’T WANT TO STAND
AROUND AND HAVE YOU TAKE MY IDEAS AND TAKE ALL THE
GLORY AND LEAVE ME HISTORICALLY UNDERRATED.
>>LISTEN MAGLEBY–>>MADISON!>>LOOK, IF IT MEANS THAT MUCH TO YOU, WE’LL PUT YOU ON THE FIVE-DOLLAR BILL AND THE PENNY.
>>YOU REALLY MEAN IT?>>YEAH, UNLESS SOMEONE COOLER COMES ALONG.
>>WELL, YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST.

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