Ignoring Your Brother’s Calls from Prison – Kiry Shabazz – Bill Burr Presents: The Ringers
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Ignoring Your Brother’s Calls from Prison – Kiry Shabazz – Bill Burr Presents: The Ringers


– My brother’s in prison. (laughing) he just got a cellphone, which was good at first, but now he calls home too much. Its to the point where we
started ignoring his calls. And now he’s getting
hostile and angry about it. He tried to text
me the other day, he was like hey
bro I called you, I was like yeah man
my bad I was busy. He’s like “doing what?” I was like, “nigga enjoying my freedom?” like what do you mean? (laughing) I went outside to run my fingers
through blades of grass. Picked a few daffodils. I helped a baby bird
back in it’s nest okay, like what do you? Don’t question me. You’re the one on timeout. He’s a gospel rapper, and I hate gospel rap. I think gospel rap is the worst form of
music on the planet. Not because its positive, it’s confusing that’s my issue. My brother took me
to a gospel rap party and I didn’t know. I heard the beat, soon as I came through the door I started turning up, and embarrassed
myself immediately, when the lyrics started playing. Like wait a minute, are we here to fuck
hoes or praise the lord? Like what you wanna do? Like I had to make it rain
on the collection basket. That was not… But that’s how we grew up man. My mom always took us to church, and her assistant pastor
was a ex drug addict. He talked about
it in his sermon, about how he used to smoke crack and have sex with
a lot of women. I love this sermon, because the message is good. No one’s holier than
thou, no one’s perfect. But also because he sounds like he misses the glory days you know what I mean? (laughing) when he talks about crack, he sounds reminiscent. The good ol’ times. Cause he gets animated, that’s his favorite
part of the sermon. Boy back in the day I was
something else hallelujah. (laughing) I used to hit that crack rock and knock down
everything moving. But now I’m saved. And married. I struggled with
hypocrisy for a while. Now I’m cool with it, but my old high school
wants me to come back and talk to the kids. I don’t wanna do it, cause I know they
don’t give a fuck. (laughing) Cause I wasn’t at school
when I didn’t give a fuck. I remember one
assembly in particular, it was sex education assembly, and we could not pay attention because the speaker
was too fine. She was like an Instagram model. Like that level fine. She was so fine even the teacher bringing her up couldn’t do so professionally. You know what I mean? We got a special
treat for y’all, this next lady
coming to the stage. (laughing) Dude you a teacher, I don’t know if you should be… She comes to the stage, she grabs the mic and I
swear its the first thing out of her mouth. She asked us a question, if given a chance, how many of you young men would
have sex with me right now? (laughing) – We couldn’t believe it. We thought it was
Christmas in the hood. (laughing) We all start shouting stuff out, putting our bid in then she… (laughing) Then she hit us
with the bombshell. She said she was
recently Tested, and she has chlamydia. Now, her intention was
to show us that hey don’t act on lust first
get to know your partner. Cause you know health is status. Her mistake was
thinking we gave a fuck. You know what I mean? (laughing) As soon as she said
“I have chlamydia.” my homeboy jumped up and said, “aye bitch ill still
smash what’s up?” No regard for the
consequences whatsoever. He got voted most likely to
go down on a homeless women and he was proud of it. (laughing) he was like, “Yeah ill go down
on a homeless women, shoot God made dirt,
dirt don’t hurt.” (laughing) Put it in her mouth will make it
work.

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