Inside the Controversial World of Medically Assisted Sex | Slutever
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Inside the Controversial World of Medically Assisted Sex | Slutever

[Music] because I have a disability with sex I got confidence and because of that my life is like so much better [Music] [Music] welcome back to all access pass I’m Spencer Williams and up next I will be talking about physical disabilities and sexuality what time is all access pass again 5 to 6 p.m. on Thursdays oh that’s perfect well I can help out with boards too yeah oh really yeah that would be awesome thanks so much for your help yeah of course I’m happy to do it good singing guys yeah you too Spencer Williams is a 24 year old radio show host living with cerebral palsy in Vancouver he’s been a client of central solutions for over a year my name is Trish central solutions is my little organization that I started just you know don’t exclude yourself from living we’re here to help you kickstart that so to speak this is the main broadcast studio and this is where all the magic happens and you host a radio show yeah a show called all-access pass and what we focus on is disability and disability issues right now it’s a monthly show since I am so passionate about the subject sex and disability I actually convinced my show to do a mini-series on the subject sex surrogates also called intimacy coaches are professionals who are hired to provide a sensual touch and erotic coaching for people with sexual dysfunction or physical challenges with the goal of improving the quality of the client’s future sexual life sensual solutions is a Vancouver based company that caters specifically to clients with disabilities pairing clients with intimacy coaches who help them to overcome obstacles in their sex lives due to Canada’s laws around paid sexual services companies like sensual solutions operate in a legal gray space in countries where sex work is criminalized ethical debates have arisen about whether sex should be a right for everyone what was the response to your sex episode it’s been really well received I think it’s been our most important episode to date that’s so interesting it’s really hard to talk about the subject of sexuality in the world of disability what gives you the confidence to be able to do that well sensual solutions gave me an avenue to look at sex and disability in a different in a different light it’s really great to work at a radio station that has allowed me to open up about a topic that I am so passionate about I think the sexuality and with any sensitive subject it’s just so helpful for people to hear the stories of people with similar experiences and similar bodies it just makes you not feel so alone yeah it’s it’s important to give people of all abilities access to something to make them feel comfortable yeah I have to advocate for myself because if I don’t who else is going to do it [Music] hey it’s Trish calling thank you very much for applying with us can you give me a quick rundown of where you’re at now what you’re doing for work and why you applied I started central solutions because I saw a need in Vancouver for people with disabilities who weren’t getting the same kinds of services that other people were getting in relation to sexuality and sensuality how are you able to discover that need after I retired from my corporate life I started answering phones at an escort agency and what I noticed was that there were some clients who would call in they would like to see someone however they did let me know that they had a disability and I found it difficult to match the escorts that worked at this company with these clients I thought no this is what I want to do there has to be a service that helps people with disabilities and I thought what’s the big deal you know help them get together help them get into a position help them if they need help with a condom like why should they not have that right so I opened the doors in the fall of 2011 why do you think it is that there is such a lack of services for disabled people when it comes to sex is it just because we gonna be sexualized disabled people because we don’t want to deal the biggest misconception about people living with disabilities is that people with disability don’t get horny I really don’t think people realize that there’s thousands and thousands of people living with disability that have no sex life and some clients just say I just need to find out that I’m human and that I’m worthy how do you describe exactly what you’re offering is it a form of therapy but it’s medically assisted sexuality we have a range of things cuddling lots of touching possibly some kissing trial where someone might want to do a lot of massaging so let’s say someone’s genitalia isn’t functioning we’ll try and find something else remapping of the brain trying to find new pleasure centers basically what we’re talking about here is helping the client access their body for pleasure have you ever done a threesome yeah my client I got to being so open-minded you can tell you like music I’m a fan of music in general they’re legends going way back when you were young did you feel pressure when people that you know that you that were your age and your friends started having their first sexual experiences did you feel okay I need to do this now – no Wow it was actually the opposite like I’d be like 11 and watch movies like American Pie and think like okay I have to lose my virginity before high school’s out American Pie seems like a dangerous place to get your sex ed looking back II probably wasn’t the greatest and then as I got older I realized that that no I’m gonna do the smart thing and just wait for the right person maybe try some dating we’ll see how that works out but it wasn’t getting anywhere and I was getting kind of frustrated and then a few more years passed and I’m like okay now it really needs to happen so I started researching like different agencies and everything I found was like really shady and made me really nervous and then I came across Trish and central solutions I had like a couple of like good close friends start to use the service – oh cool if my friend can do it I could do it what’s there to lose except my virginity which I need to get rid of yeah exactly so I told my dad about what I was wanting to do and he thought it was pretty cool so it was just awesome that he gets it what did it mean for you to finally be able to have a sexual experience through central solutions I was hella nervous but I knew that I’d finally found an outlet to express and connect with another human being [Music] she’s good just meal like fellas dream [Laughter] Jefferson with disability there’s a certain level of vulnerability and you have to be okay with absolutely my mom is uncomfortable with it but she understands she’s like a lawyer you think deals with like human trafficking okay she’s on the opposite side of like sex work yeah so really though she’s uncomfortable with you doing this because she’s at waiting what’s going wrong with sex trafficking yeah no it’s therapy really yeah my dad got really mad and it was like she wants to do it this is joy so we devalue something that he’s really passionate about great well cause like I was saying what’s the alternative there’s nothing supportive yeah I’m a grown man I can make my own decisions and it has serious repercussions I can deal with yeah I can deal with those yeah that was a comment right yeah that’s interesting in and of it she was human trafficking lawyer to me what we’re talking about in this situation is your race your flee the race as my rights are being infringed upon right yeah no one’s going to be pretty fun I’m just super thankful for this cuz like it allows me to practice or your future wife and exactly and I know she’s up there somewhere I just haven’t absolutely go in service where I feel like sure it may be expensive but you can’t put a price on this experience I have a good time during these sessions so it’s it’s worth to invest in things I was gonna say the value the yeah 100% [Music] [Applause] [Music] how do you feel about sexual assistance in kind of a medical scenario using your body using your skin having being nude or partially new do you have any boundaries and in that regard what’s your hiring process like we have a basic application form and then we do a phone screening and then meet in person criminal record chat and most of them have some kind of health background that’s what I’m looking for we give them some training and they’ll learn about let’s say basic pivot transfers from a chair to a bed what motivates your coaches to want to work with disabled clients and that is a question that’s asked in the interview process so for example one coach has someone in their life that does have a disability another person is a human rights activist and feels that this work needs to be done another coach just said she was very open minded and there’s nothing wrong with using parts of your body to give pleasure to someone else or to help them access their body that must mean they’re really good people I think we’ve hired some wonderful people it’s interesting how I found out about sensual solutions I had a friend send me an article about the agency and she said I think you’d be really great for this job and then about a year later I saw an article in the newspaper and it was featuring Trish and her company again and because I’m pursuing a career in sexual health I contacted her and we became friends because I believe in the cause of what she’s doing so I think it’s important that everyone have their sexual needs met it’s a basic human right it’s not a privilege like riding a bicycle or ice skating I’m currently studying for my clinical psychology degree the goal is to get my doctorate in human sexuality I’m basically doing the work now that I’m getting certified to say that doing so a lot of the clients that you meet do they not even really understand what they want you have to almost work with them to help them discover what they want sexually quite often yes very often like we will have people who’ve never experienced being with a woman they’ve never seen a woman naked and it’s very educational there are so many ways to be intimate so this is where we get into a lot of the somatic sex work and body work I’ve had clients orgasm by having their earlobes massaged there are many different ways to achieve climax that doesn’t necessarily involve penetration or intercourse and what do you get out of it like what’s how would you leave a session what do you feel I love making people feel good and I’m I’m good at doing that I think it’s very healing watching a transformation someone going from being scared and nervous and insecure to by the time I’m done with my session with them they’re open and we’re laughing and they’re confident and they’re free to ask anything and it’s the the energy is just it’s night and day it’s so different when you tell people what you do how they usually react I have encountered some people being condescending about it it’s because they also have a lot of triggers around the sex industry and sex work in general and what they think that means they think about prostitution and sex trafficking and that is not anything close to what it is that we’re dealing with here the stigma that exists around this type of thing this puritanical idea that the no sexual interaction should be exchanged for any type of money right exactly and it’s funny because people say oh you’re you’re you’re selling your body which is completely untrue what’s happening as a service is being provided you’re choosing to participate in an activity that everyone does sex is just as important as air and water in terms of thriving and surviving as a species on the planet so sex work it serves society it has a function and it does help people it really believes that the world needs more people like you I’m doing so cool at first I was a little uneasy about paying for it but just seeing how much of a connection I was getting I’m like okay there are people that are there for you to just help you explore and find your true self it’s boosted my confidence by a thousand percent like it’s just changed every area of my life every time I have a session it still feels like my first time it still feels brand new I still get those butterflies you


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