Intervention (HP meets HIMYM)
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Intervention (HP meets HIMYM)

[intro music] S: Are you guys still not done packing? – What’s taking you so long? J: Hey! All the great memories of our teenage years took place in this dormitory. R: It’s not like throwing stuff in a box. You start reminiscing. S: Not me! – The key? Throw stuff out. Never look back. – I moved in with James last summer. It took me half an hour to pack. P: Half an hour? S: It would have taken me 20 minutes, – but my parents insisted on giving me the “You’re a disgrace…” speech. R: Well, moving out is really emotional, okay? J: It is! I mean, everything is about to change. – I’m gonna start living with Lily soon, and we’re all gonna start the Auror program. – It’s the end of an era. P: Aww! Look! – It’s us. Our first night at Hogwarts. All: Aww! P: Great memories… S: See! That’s exactly the kind of crap you should be trashing. J: So you don’t keep any photos? S: Nope. – They’re just like… – …love letters, or yearbooks, or someone’s ashes… – They just take up space. – Besides, Lily’s not gonna let you keep half of this stuff. J: Why wouldn’t she? R: Oh, James… Sweetie… J: Hey, why is the intervention banner here? – We threw it out. – And… – And there are sealed letters here, with my name on it. – Were you guys planning an intervention for me? R: Oh, that. That was stupid. – Just forget about that. J: What was it for? Was it the… – …2 AM… – …serenades for Lily, – or the three AM Quidditch practices, or the hair products or…? P: Not Lily. J: Oh, Merlin. This was about Lily. P: I just said “not Lily.” – Maybe it’s about your poor listening skills, Prongs. J: What? P: See! It’s out of control. J: You guys don’t think I should marry Lily. P: No, we do. – We’re all really happy for you. R: Like I said, it was stupid. J: Well obviously it wasn’t, because we agreed not to have any more stupid interventions, – at our intervention intervention. – So…? – What was your serious problem with me and Lily? S: *sigh* – *ahem* – Dear James, – I cannot stand idly by- J: You’ve been carrying that around? S: Please. – I cannot stand idly by while you make the biggest mistake any man can make: – Getting married. – The point is, James, marriage is stupid. R: Oh, come on. You’re only saying that because we cannot get married. J: I want to hear all the other letters. R: Prongs, this is ridiculous. We’ve changed our minds. J: Well, suppose you change them back? – Come on. Pete, let’s hear yours. P: The first step in unicorn care is to approach it carefully and let it smell you… – This is my Care of Magical Creatures essay. – Oh no… R: I guess that explains your weird midterm grade. J: Remus, I wanna hear yours. R: *sigh* – Dear James, Lily seems like a wonderful person, – but you don’t know her well enough to get married. – You certainly don’t know her well enough to commit to having children together. – Don’t look at me like that. We all know what your “study sessions” will lead to. – You’re not doing her or yourself any favours by rushing into this. – Just give it some more time. – *half hearted laughter* S: Mate, that was months ago, before we got to really know Lily, – and found out what an awesome person she is and how great you guys are as a couple. – That’s why we decided to not have the intervention. J: Thanks. – I really need you guys to be on board with this. R: And we are. P: Yeah. We hope you’re not mad with us. J: No, no no. Of course not. – I mean, it’s not that what you said was crazy. You had a lot of valid concerns. S: Concerns that we’ve, since then, moved on from completely. J: Yeah. But- – But, you had a point. I mean… – Things have moved pretty… pretty fast, so… P: But maybe it’s when- When you know someone is right, you just know. J: I mean, we are still getting to know each other, and… – And maybe you’re right, Sirius. Maybe Lily won’t like any of my stuff. – Like… like my Quidditch robes, or… – Or… or… – Or my books or… or my… my Quaffle… P: James, what are you doing? J: Unpacking. I am never leaving this place. R: Prongs, stop unpacking! You’re just freaking out. J: Yeah, well, I’m not ready for this kind of responsibility. – I mean, if I get married and move away from you guys… – …in the blink of an eye, I’ll become an old man. R: James has officially snapped. We have to do something! S: I got this. Switch! – Hey. Mate. – Hey. Listen to me for a minute. J: What? S: I want you to know that this is totally normal. – Big transitions can be scary, and… – …having cold feet is just part of the deal. – So… – Give me the wand. S: Come on. Give me the wand. – …so I can start unpacking too! I’m never leaving your side, bud! J & S: Yeah!! R: Sirius! S: Moony, – Our lives have been great here. – That’s what you’ve been putting off packing. – Because subconsciously, you know that it’s a bad idea to leave. – It’s safe and… warm and… there’s a huge kitchen downstairs. – This is my home, and I’m not leaving. P: Listen to you! Sirius, you can’t do this to Remus. – I mean, I know it’s scary to leave school, but don’t you think he’s scared too? – I mean, you have to support each other, right, Moony? R: You’re absolutely right. – I’m not leaving either! J & S : Yay!! P: Merlin’s beard! Look at you cowards! – So afraid of any kind of change. Terrified of something new. Desperate to cling to something comfortable and familiar… – I don’t wanna quit school! What was I thinking? – Me, an auror!?!? J, S & R: Yay!! P: I mean, every everyone talking about how great change is, but what’s so great about change? S: Let’s go down to the kitchen like we always do, and have… what we always have! All: Yes! J: I’m moving in with Lily. S: What? J: Because we’re gonna get older, whether we like it or not, – so the only question is really whether we want to get on with our lives or… – …desperately cling to the past and end up like that. – Let’s go back up and finish packing. – On one condition: – That we finish this school year with a bang, – so that we will remember it as the day we closed an incredible chapter in our lives, – only to open a new one. S: *laughing* Sounds good!


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