Jaimé Needs a Hoarding Intervention – Broad City
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Jaimé Needs a Hoarding Intervention – Broad City

Did you go in my room? I-I’m sorry, but this is what
I wanted to talk to you about. That I-I know that
you’re a h-hoarder. -What?
-I’m sorry, okay? -It — It’s okay. We love you.
-We love you. And we just want to help.
Okay? I had to go in your room
because I smelled what I thought could
only be the stench of death. But then I later discovered
it was an unfinished everything bagel
with cream cheese, which — no judgment —
is way worse. Who doesn’t finish
an everything bagel? Right? I am not playing
this little game, okay? And don’t go
into my room again. -Jaimé.
-Jaimé. Jaimé, wait. Hold on. Hold on a second.
Come here. Here, babe. It’s okay. I think it’s going well. -Really good.
-Yeah. Mmm. ♪♪ Hold on. Ilana, are you
using the same cheese grater on the cheese that
you’re using on your feet? Yeah. Okay. Let’s dig in.
Welcome back. Okay, but just so you know,
it’s not that I’m not still mad
about you going into my room. Not cool. Very not cool.
-Totally not cool. I’m glad that you’re
honoring your instincts. And good for you
for setting boundaries. I just want you to
explore your feelings in a judgment-free zone,
okay? This is a safe space. Well, not literally safe. How about we start with
looking at the most common causes of hoarding and see if
you connect with any of them? Now, I don’t want to
put words in your mouth, but hoarding often develops
as a coping mechanism for a feeling
of a lack of control. Does that
resonate with you? W-Well, obviously,
before I became a citizen, you know, I was always
so anxious about my status. And, you know, you feel
this lack of control. -Very powerless, you know? -Mm. That’s really when it started
to all pile up. Abbi: Okay, I-I’m sorry
to interrupt. I’m still feeling very
uncomfortable in general, and I’m also
starting to feel ill, probably because
I’ve been eating cheese that’s mixed in
with your heel skin. I’m — I’m so sorry
that my emotions are making you
this uncomfortable. I love you and support you.
This is about Ilana’s feet. One moment, please.
Abbi, relax. I put the grater in Barbicide
after I use it on my feet. Do you think I’m an idiot? Barbicide? Okay, so, what I’m sensing
is that the hoarding… …provides a sense of comfort
in times of stress. It’s gotten a lot worse lately,
to be honest, and I don’t… I don’t know why, ’cause I — I really have been
so happy with you. I know you have, babe. You know, I often
encounter in my work people struggling with the
duality of relationships. You know, maybe
there’s something about this relationship, even if it’s going dopely,
that’s causing anxiety. I’m sorry, but, Ilana, do I
have to go to the hospital? Oh, my God. Okay, you are wasting
Jaimé’s hour. Okay? This is so unprofessional!
I’ll handle it, okay? [ Indistinct arguing ] Okay, dude,
just be honest with me. Did I or did I not eat
your foot cheese? What part of “I put the cheese
grater in Barbicide before it touches the cheese”
do you not understand? And not for nothing,
you’re probably lactose-intolerant ’cause
you’re an Ashkenazi Jew. Or maybe you didn’t
know that. Okay? And have you never sucked
on a couple toes before? -I have sucked on toes.
-Really? -Yeah.
-Because you’re lucky, girl. A lot of people pay good money
for my foot shavings. They do? Ooh! Look at these two. Am I good, or am I good?
[ Chuckles ] All right, that is about all
the time we have for this week. Actually, we went a little bit
over, but that’s okay. I want to thank you for making
me confront my hoardiness, because it made me see
that I was just putting it as a barrier for the next
step in our relationship. That’s the best thing
a therapist can hear.Mi amor,I decided
to move in with Johnny, in his house in New Jersey. -Yeah!
-A house! Oh, my goodness! No. No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no. Where the fuck is the
reverse-psychology section?! Where is it?!
-Okay. Jaimé, I don’t like
to say “crazy,” but you are fuckin’ nuts, okay? Moving to Jersey?! What are
you, Bruce Springsteen?! You’re like…
♪ Henh, henh, huhhhggh, eghghh ♪ But I’ve —
I’ve never done this. So you don’t even know
Bruce Springsteen? -Why would you move to Jersey?
-Baby, listen. You were right — I need to
stop self-sabotaging myself. Now I need to take the next step
with my boyfriend. I see — One therapy session,
and now you’re cured! -Okay, great.
-Not a real therapy session. Please! It wasn’t.
I’m sorry. It’s not. Classic denial!
You are mental, bro! Abbi: Ilana, can I talk
to you for a second? Let me just talk to you
for a second over here. Okay. If this is about
the fuckin’ foot cheese, -I swear to God, Abbi…
-No, listen, dude. I think you need to take
some of your own advice. You just told Jaimé
that his hoarding problem was due to maybe
a lack of control, right? -Yeah.
-I feel like that’s happening
with you right now. I mean, him moving out
is a huge deal, and you’re trying
to control him. You have to let him
live his own life. I said all that, huh? Yeah, you did. Hey, you guys. Fully sorry.
That was stupid. -It’s okay.
-It’s not about me. I am so sorry.
-Mm. It’s all good. You know, this is
right for you guys. And you know what?
I think I’ve been scared because I have been feeling
like this was coming. Well, it’s scary for me, too. I haven’t lived without you
in such a long time. But you know what?
It’s super easy. Just Montclair. It’s, like, across the pond,
you know? Wait. Where’s Mon-claya? -It’s “Montclair.”
-Montclair! Um, so, who is this
Bruce Springsteen again? Yeah, I don’t really know
his music. -You don’t know who The Boss is?
-Mnh-mnh. What does he sound like? [ Fingers snapping ] Yeah. ♪ [ Grunting ]
Hey, mm, hey, he-hoo-ho ♪ ♪ Hey, mm, hey, hm, hey,
hmm-hmm ♪ ♪ Hey, mm, baby! ♪ -Right. I-I now get the vibe.
-You got it? -Ah, yes.
-I get the vibe.


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