• Can We Pass the Equal Rights Amendment Already? – Desi Lydic Womansplains | The Daily Show
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    Can We Pass the Equal Rights Amendment Already? – Desi Lydic Womansplains | The Daily Show

    – When it comes to gender equality, America’s ranked 49th in the world, just below Peru, which means now all those pictures I took stunting at Machu Picchu just make me sad. So I’m here to do my part by educating Americans about vital gender topics. This is Desi Lydic Womansplains. The ERA stands for the equal rights amendment not to be confused with the ERA in baseball, which I’ve also womansplained. God dammit! So, the equal rights amendment. It was first proposed in the 1920s by the National Woman’s Party. They’re my she-ros. Any time there’s a 1920s themed wedding, I show up dressed as a suffragette. Elizabeth said…

  • Someone’s Gotta Say It – Key & Peele
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    Someone’s Gotta Say It – Key & Peele

    [sighs] excuse me, sir. Well. Oh, well, well, well. Fucking mexicans. Oh, man, do not get me started on the mexicans. Hey, I was just saying. They hold the goddamn economy together. You know what, man? Damn straight. If 12% of the mexicans that live in this country stopped working, just 12%, the USA would shut down. I don’t even care who hears me. Nope. [stammers] they work their asses ofF… Mm-hmm. And they got strong family values. Essential immigrants. Hey, speaking of immigrants, how about them asians? Man, fuck, you know what, brother? You want to light that fuse? Then you better stand back ’cause I got something I…

  • Key & Peele – Al Qaeda Meeting
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    Key & Peele – Al Qaeda Meeting

    – BROTHERS. BROTHERS, LET US BEGIN. I HAVE CONVENED THIS MEETING TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU ARE DOING. WHY HAVE WE NOT TAKEN A PLANE IN 13 YEARS? – KHALIV. YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. IT IS ALL BECAUSE THE CUNNING AND MIGHTY TSA IS ALWAYS ONE STEP AHEAD OF US. – I DO NOT BELIEVE IT! – IT’S TRUE. LAST MONTH, I ATTEMPTED TO TAKE DOWN A PLANE WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS FIVE INCHES LONG. – THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PERFECT PLAN. WHY DID IT NOT WORK? – BECAUSE THE SHREWD TSA, THEY MADE RESTRICTIONS SO YOU CAN ONLY TAKE A FOUR-INCH SCISSORS. FOUR INCHES. – WHAT? – YEAH.…

  • Key & Peele – Dad’s Hollywood Secret
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    Key & Peele – Dad’s Hollywood Secret

    – HELLO, EVERYONE. I’M JOSEPH CARMICHAEL. OTIS IS–WAS MY FATHER. BUT WE ARE NOT HERE TODAY TO MOURN HIS DEATH, BUT TO CELEBRATE HIS LIFE. WE KNEW OTIS AS A TEACHER, A COMMUNITY LEADER, A ROLE MODEL, A HUSBAND, AND A FATHER. NOW, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE TO SHARE SOMETHING ABOUT HIM Y’ALL MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN. WHEN MY FATHER WAS YOUNGER, HE WAS AN ACTOR IN HOLLYWOOD. GOING THROUGH MY DAD’S THINGS, I FOUND THIS REEL OF HIS WORK AS AN ACTOR. I HAVEN’T SEEN IT YET, BUT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO WATCH, HERE WITH ALL OF YOU TODAY. THANK YOU. – [gasps] WHERE…

  • Drunk History – Dolley Madison Protects America’s National Treasures
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    Drunk History – Dolley Madison Protects America’s National Treasures

    SO WHEN BRITAIN–WHEN THEY ARRIVED ON THE SHORES, THIS BRITISH GUYS SHOW UP, AND THEY’RE LIKE, AWESOME. LIKE, NO ONE’S HERE. SO WE’LL JUST DROP ANCHOR AND START TRASHING THE PLACE. WHILE DOLLEY AND JAMES WERE IN THE WHITE HOUSE, THEY GET WORD THAT HOLY [bleep], THESE GUYS HAVE LANDED, AND THEY’RE HEADING THIS WAY. SO JAMES MADISON’S LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M GONNA GET ON A HORSE, AND I’M GONNA GO THERE, AND I’M GONNA BE LIKE, GUESS WHAT? KNOCK, KNOCK. PRESIDENT’S HERE. AND SHE’S LIKE, OKAY, SEE YOU FOR DINNER. JAMES LEAVES. SHE STAYS IN THE WHITE HOUSE WHILE EVERYBODY ELSE IN WASHINGTON IS KIND OF BEING PUSSIES…

  • Staging an Intervention On Air (feat. Shane Torres) – The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder
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    Staging an Intervention On Air (feat. Shane Torres) – The Bonfire w/ Big Jay Oakerson & Dan Soder

    – Thursday I get to go– – Could be here tomorrow. – To the Gary Clark Jr. Show – Yeah Thursday. – We all meet up at the Beacon, Lou comes, the words you never wanna hear before a hang, he goes “I was drinking with Merc Face before he came here.” – Ohhhhh, primed Lewitski that means he’s. – That’s fucking arm freckle drinking, you know what I mean? (heavy guitar music) (fire crackling) – Who all went to the show? – It was five of us which was very cool of him to hook us up like that. – It’s great. – It was me, Christine, DJ Lou,…

  • Pelosi Presses On & Constitutional Scholars Testify | The Daily Show
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    Pelosi Presses On & Constitutional Scholars Testify | The Daily Show

    Impeachment took yet another major step forward when Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House and sober Lucille Bluth, gathered up all the flags she could find for a major announcement. NEWSMAN: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announcing to the country and to the world that articles of impeachment against President Trump will proceed, Pelosi telling the American people that Trump has left the U.S. Congress with no choice but to move forward. Sadly but with confidence and humility, with allegiance to our founders and a heart full of love for America, today I am asking our chairman to proceed with articles of impeachment. Oh, my God, oh, my God! Oh, my…

  • Democratic Presidential Candidate Andrew Yang’s Campaign for Universal Basic Income | The Daily Show
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    Democratic Presidential Candidate Andrew Yang’s Campaign for Universal Basic Income | The Daily Show

    There are now 15 Democrats running in the primary. That’s so many people. Look at all those faces. Look at all of those faces! They’ve got enough people to start the world’s worst soccer team. And because there are so many Democrats running, many Democratic voters are wondering, “How do I know which one to choose?” Well, for Ronny Chieng, the choice is clear. Here’s his report. The 2020 presidential campaign. Like my afternoon poop, it’s not quite here yet, but I can already feel it. Out of all the candidates, there’s only one I can see myself in. I’m Andrew Yang, and I’m running for president as a Democrat…

  • So, What Is a Universal Basic Income? – The Jim Jefferies Show
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    So, What Is a Universal Basic Income? – The Jim Jefferies Show

    THERE ARE ROUGHLY 40 MILLION AMERICANS LIVING IN POVERTY. THANKS TO DONALD TRUMP, THAT’S ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE. THE ADMINISTRATION IS CONSIDERING CHANGING THE DEFINITION OF POVERTY SO FEWER FAMILIES WILL QUALIFY FOR GOVERNMENT ASSISTANCE. SO PROBLEM SOLVED. I GUESS THAT’S ONE WAY TO DEAL WITH POVERTY, JUST SAY IT’S NOT POVERTY. THAT’S LIKE, IF YOU HAD STAGE CANCER AND THE DOCTOR SAID NO, THAT’S JUST A PANCREAS BRUISE, PUT SOME ICE ON IT. IT’S A PRETTY SIMPLE IDEA.>>THE PROBLEM WITH POVERTY IS NOT HAVING ENOUGH MONEY. THE SIMPLE SOLUTION WHEN SOMEONE DOESN’T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY IS TO GIVE THEM MONEY. SO THAT’S MORE OR UNIVERSAL BASIC INCOME.>>IT’S A MONTHLY…

  • The Nightly Show – Pape Pope vs. The Confederate Flag
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    The Nightly Show – Pape Pope vs. The Confederate Flag

    (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >>IF HE WERE SPEAKING TO SOMEONE WHO WANTED TO RAISE THE CONFEDERATE FLAG, HE WOULD PROBABLY START OFF BY SAYING SOMETHING TO THE EFFECT OF, YOU ARE SOME FUNNY, FUNNY PEOPLE. FOR YOU IT’S ALWAYS SUMMERTIME AND THE LIVIN’ IS EASY. YOUR MAMA’S RICH AND YOUR MAMA’S GOT LOOKIN’. YOU’RE A CONFEDERATE, A PROUD SOUTHERN WHITE BOY. YOUR BIBLE IN YOUR HAND AND A SHOTGUN IN YOUR PICKUP TRUCK. A SOUTHERN WHITE BOY, WITH THE SHAME OF SLAVERY RUNNIN’ THROUGH YOUR VEINS. YOU ARE A BIGOT. I AM A BLACK MAN. I HAVE WORKED AND SCRAPED FOR EVERY INCH OF DIRT I WALK ON. YOU CRIED YOURSELF…