• Drunk History – Dolley Madison Protects America’s National Treasures
    Articles,  Blog

    Drunk History – Dolley Madison Protects America’s National Treasures

    SO WHEN BRITAIN–WHEN THEY ARRIVED ON THE SHORES, THIS BRITISH GUYS SHOW UP, AND THEY’RE LIKE, AWESOME. LIKE, NO ONE’S HERE. SO WE’LL JUST DROP ANCHOR AND START TRASHING THE PLACE. WHILE DOLLEY AND JAMES WERE IN THE WHITE HOUSE, THEY GET WORD THAT HOLY [bleep], THESE GUYS HAVE LANDED, AND THEY’RE HEADING THIS WAY. SO JAMES MADISON’S LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M GONNA GET ON A HORSE, AND I’M GONNA GO THERE, AND I’M GONNA BE LIKE, GUESS WHAT? KNOCK, KNOCK. PRESIDENT’S HERE. AND SHE’S LIKE, OKAY, SEE YOU FOR DINNER. JAMES LEAVES. SHE STAYS IN THE WHITE HOUSE WHILE EVERYBODY ELSE IN WASHINGTON IS KIND OF BEING PUSSIES…

  • Drunk History – John Adams and Thomas Jefferson Had Beef
    Articles,  Blog

    Drunk History – John Adams and Thomas Jefferson Had Beef

    – I MEAN, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. DID YOU HAVE A HOLE IN THAT, OR WHAT HAPPENED? – I’M GONNA CLEAN THAT UP. – LIKE, REALLY? – I DIDN’T DO THAT. – YOU KNOW THIS IS MY GODDAMN HOME, RIGHT? – YOU LIVE IN THIS [bleep]HOLE? – HELLO. TODAY WE’RE GONNA TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE ELECTION OF 1800. [slurps, laughs] THOMAS JEFFERSON AND JOHN ADAMS– THEY WERE FOUNDING FATHERS OF AMERICA. THEY WERE ALSO THE BEST OF FRIENDS. ADAMS WAS LIKE, THE CONSTITUTION– YOU CAN KIND OF BEND THAT HOW YOU NEED TO BEND IT. WE CAN KIND OF WORK WITH THIS, AND JEFFERSON WAS ALWAYS LIKE, CONSTITUTION IS THE…