♪ Wake up in the morning looking greener than Shrek ♪ – Where’s that donkey? – ♪ Sleeping in a tub can really mess up your neck. Before I leave I stop and vomit up tequila and glue. It seems I’m spending every morning with my head in the [beep]. Got vomit up in my hair, but I’m way too sick to care. I’m falling down the stairs. I, I, I pull myself off the floor, then I’m almost out the door, but my family is waiting for me. Oh crap, not again. It’s an intervention. It’s cool. I’m fine. I can stop at any time. That’s a lie. You…
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Stephen Stages An Art Intervention For James Franco
>>PLEASE WELCOME JAMES FRANCO. (APPLAUSE).>>Jon: >>Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.>>NICE TO SEE YOU, BROTHER.>>Stephen: WE HAVE NOT SAT DOWN TO TALK.>>I KNOW.>>Stephen: SINCE YOU WERE ONE OF MY SINGING GUESTS ON THE LAST EPISODE OF THE COLBERT REPORT TWO YEARS AGO NOW. WHAT IS TODAY’S DAY, TWO YEARS AGO NEXT WEEK.>>WAS THAT?>>Stephen: YEAH. NOW I UNDERSTAND THIS NEW MOVIE, WHY HIM? I HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOU BEING IN THE MOVIE.>>YEAH.>>Stephen: WHAT IS THAT?>>I GUESS WE OWE YOU. YOU HAD EVERYBODY ON THAT LAST EPISODE FROM GEORGE LUCAS TO KISSINGER TO BIG BIRD AND MICHAEL STIPE WAS THERE.>>Stephen: EXACTLY.>>AND BRIE AN CRANSTON SO WE WERE ALL WAITING BACKSTAGE.…
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Confederate Monuments Are Bad; Gen. Forrest’s Is Really Bad
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Stephen Roasts A Confederate Statue
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Let’s Repurpose Those Confederate Statues
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Keanu Reeves: What It’s Like To Fight On A Horse
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Trump Pleads For “Rupublicans” To Defend Him Against “Infair” Impeachment
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A Day in the Life of a Modern American Exorcist
There is a war that is being waged between good and evil. Faith in God will lead us in one direction, the lack of faith will lead us in another. I have seen many manifestations of evil. Exorcism is the only cure for one who is truly demonically possessed. The Catholic Church knows that most of these claims are baloney. They cling to this because they’re afraid to give up that last vestige of the supernatural. If there’s no demons, maybe there’s no devil . And if there is no devil, maybe there’s no God. I am Father Vincent Lampert. I’ve been a Catholic priest for the past 25 years.…
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This Isn’t Your Grandfather’s Constitutional Crisis
WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU KNOW, WE HAVE PASSED CERTAIN MILESTONES ON TRUMP’S HIGHWAY TO AMERICAN GREATNESS. ( LAUGHTER ) SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO PULL THE CAR OVER, GET A BREATH OF FRESH AIR, MAYBE PUKE IN THE GRASS. ( LAUGHTER ) TODAY IS ONE SUCH DAY, BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES HAS ORDERED THE PEOPLE INVESTIGATING HIM TO INVESTIGATE THEIR INVESTIGATION OF HIM ( LAUGHTER ) YESTERDAY, DONALD TRUMP SUMMONED DEPUTY ATTORNEY GENERAL ROD ROSENSTEIN AND F.B.I. DIRECTOR CHRISTOPHER WRAY TO THE WHITE HOUSE “TO PRESSURE THEM TO TURN OVER TO CONGRESS…
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Sen. Bernie Sanders Details His Climate Change Legislation
HE’S A CROWD PLEASER. WE’RE BACK HERE WITH SENATOR BERNIE SANDERS. SENATOR, LET ME ASK YOU THIS, LAST WEEK THE WORKING FAMILIES PARTY ENDORSED ELIZABETH WARREN BUT THEY ENDORSED YOU IN 2016, SO FOR PEOPLE WHO LOOK AT THAT ENDORSEMENT AND THEY THINK, WELL, THEY MUST BE THE SAME PEOPLE, WHAT DIFFERENTIATES YOU AND ELIZABETH WARREN? HOW AS A CASUAL OBSERVER WOULD I TELL YOUR IDEAS APART FROM HEARSE.>>SENATOR WARREN WILL RUN HER CAMPAIGN AND I’LL RUN MINE, BUT THIS IS WHAT I WOULD SAY — IF YOU ARE CONCERNED ABOUT THE ENORMOUS THREAT OF CLIMATE CHANGE, AND IF YOU THINK WE SHOULD LISTEN TO THE SCIENTISTS AND DEVELOP A…
