• Matthew Lewis on Impractical Jokers S06E13 Universal Appeal
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    Matthew Lewis on Impractical Jokers S06E13 Universal Appeal

    Q: Here we go! Today, we are at Islands of Adventure riding the amazing Jurassic Park River Adventure. MURR: While we’re on the ride, the other guys will be telling us bizarre things to say to the other boat riders. SAL: And if you refuse to say anything, you lose. Ta-da! [Laughter] JOE: He looks like he’s animatronic. MURR: I know. Q: You know, this is my tourist look. I’m looking like a sweet tourist right now. SAL: You look like a guy that camps out on line and comes here every single day. MAN: All right, everybody. The bar’s gonna go all the way down. Joe: All right, the…

  • Ellen Celebrates Universal Children’s Day!
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    Ellen Celebrates Universal Children’s Day!

    [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING] Came all the way from Beijing, China. Please welcome Lil’ Mushroom. What is your real name? Li Zzz Tee. Li Zzz Tee. Zzz. Zzz. [LAUGHTER] Zz. Si. Si. Si. [LAUGHTER] Li- za- tee. [LAUGHTER] Our next guest is a small, but mighty when it comes to dancing. From Detroit, Michigan, please welcome five-year-old Tavaris Jones. And what do you want to do when you grow up? I want to be a father. A father? Aww. Why do you want to be a father? Because I’m so sweet. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] You’re going to tell me what city and what state this is. Chicago. This is Chicago. How do…

  • This Isn’t Your Grandfather’s Constitutional Crisis
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    This Isn’t Your Grandfather’s Constitutional Crisis

    WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU KNOW, WE HAVE PASSED CERTAIN MILESTONES ON TRUMP’S HIGHWAY TO AMERICAN GREATNESS. ( LAUGHTER ) SOMETIMES YOU JUST HAVE TO PULL THE CAR OVER, GET A BREATH OF FRESH AIR, MAYBE PUKE IN THE GRASS. ( LAUGHTER ) TODAY IS ONE SUCH DAY, BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES HAS ORDERED THE PEOPLE INVESTIGATING HIM TO INVESTIGATE THEIR INVESTIGATION OF HIM ( LAUGHTER ) YESTERDAY, DONALD TRUMP SUMMONED DEPUTY ATTORNEY GENERAL ROD ROSENSTEIN AND F.B.I. DIRECTOR CHRISTOPHER WRAY TO THE WHITE HOUSE “TO PRESSURE THEM TO TURN OVER TO CONGRESS…

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    Trump Could Face Articles of Impeachment by Halloween

    -Guys, I’m very pumped about this. Billie Eilish is my guest tonight. [ Cheers and applause ] Billie — Billie is incredible. She just 17 years old, and she’s about to go on a world tour. Meanwhile, when I was 17, I was touring a fake I.D. around every 7-Eleven. [ Laughter ] “Can I get some…” [ Laughter ] Guys, this is our final live show this week, and I just want to thank our incredible staff for all their hard work. Thank you, guys, very much. [ Cheers and applause ] I also want to thank President Trump for making everyone’s job a lot easier. Let’s get to…

  • Comedy Knockout – Jokepardy: The Constitution | truTV
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    Comedy Knockout – Jokepardy: The Constitution | truTV

    All right, it’s “Jokepardy.” I give you answers, you give me questions. The Constitution. What did my dad call his morning poop? [ Laughter ] Gina. [ British accent ] What should have in brackets “Just for white people”? [ Laughter ] Lemon: Damn shame. Shane. What is American currently wiping its ass with? [ Laughter ] Yep. Lemon: All right, the microscope. What did my ex buy me as a “gag gift”? [ Laughter ] Shane. What do I need to see Josh’s career? Oh! Lemon: Okay. There you go. That’s about right. Gina. What do both of these guys need so they can see their penises? [ Audience…