• Can You Love the Constitution If You Can’t Read It?
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    Can You Love the Constitution If You Can’t Read It?

    LET’S GET STRAIGHT INTO THE HEAD LINES. THE BAD NEWS KEEPS PILING ON FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP. AS YOU KNOW, HE’S IN THE MIDDLE OF AN IMPEACHMENT TRIAL. WELL, NOW A NEW WHITE HOUSE TELL-ALL BOOK DETAILS YET ANOTHER EMBARRASSING INCIDENT. WHILE TAKING PART IN A NEW DOCUMENTARY, TRUMP REPORTEDLY STRUGGLED SO MUCH TO READ A PASSAGE FROM THE CONSTITUTION THAT HE GREW FRUSTRATED AND BLAMED NEARBY STAFF. HE WAS LIKE, “I CAN’T FIND WALDO! WHERE IS WALDO?!” IN TRUMP’S DEFENSE, THE PRESIDENTIAL OATH OF OFFICE SAYS HE WILL “PRESERVE, PROTECT, AND DEFEND THE CONSTITUTION.” THERE’S NOTHING IN THERE ABOUT BEING ABLE TO READ IT. THIS IS TRUE, AT ONE POINT,…

  • Stephen Stages An Art Intervention For James Franco
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    Stephen Stages An Art Intervention For James Franco

    >>PLEASE WELCOME JAMES FRANCO. (APPLAUSE).>>Jon: >>Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.>>NICE TO SEE YOU, BROTHER.>>Stephen: WE HAVE NOT SAT DOWN TO TALK.>>I KNOW.>>Stephen: SINCE YOU WERE ONE OF MY SINGING GUESTS ON THE LAST EPISODE OF THE COLBERT REPORT TWO YEARS AGO NOW. WHAT IS TODAY’S DAY, TWO YEARS AGO NEXT WEEK.>>WAS THAT?>>Stephen: YEAH. NOW I UNDERSTAND THIS NEW MOVIE, WHY HIM? I HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOU BEING IN THE MOVIE.>>YEAH.>>Stephen: WHAT IS THAT?>>I GUESS WE OWE YOU. YOU HAD EVERYBODY ON THAT LAST EPISODE FROM GEORGE LUCAS TO KISSINGER TO BIG BIRD AND MICHAEL STIPE WAS THERE.>>Stephen: EXACTLY.>>AND BRIE AN CRANSTON SO WE WERE ALL WAITING BACKSTAGE.…

  • Justice Stephen Breyer Interview
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    Justice Stephen Breyer Interview

    MY NEXT GUEST HAS BEEN ON THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT FOR OVER 20 YEARS. PLEASE WELCOME JUSTICE STEPHEN BREYER! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ♪ (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ♪>>Stephen: THANKS FOR BEING HERE. YOU’RE REALLY CLASSING UP THE JOINT.>>THANK YOU VERY MUCH.>>Stephen: MAKES ME FEEL VERY IMPORTANT TO HAVE YOU HERE BECAUSE, USUALLY, WHEN YOU’RE SOMEPLACE, SOMETHING BIG IS BEING DECIDED, RIGHT?>>SOMETIMES.>>Stephen: YES. (LAUGHTER) SO WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BE A SUPREME COURT JUSTICE? IS IT A GOOD JOB?>>THE BIGGEST BENEFIT, PARTICULARLY AS YOU GET OLDER, IS YOU TAKE EVERY MINUTE OF IT VERY SERIOUSLY, AND IT CALLS FOR YOU TO PUT FORTH YOUR BEST EVERY SINGLE MINUTE. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)…

  • The New U.S. Constitution As Written By Trump
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    The New U.S. Constitution As Written By Trump

    PRESIDENT TRUMP HAD AN OFFICIAL CALL WITH PUTIN TODAY. I HEAR THE CALL WAS TENSE, BUT LET’S FACE IT. THAT’S HOW PERFORMANCE REVIEWS USUALLY GO. ( LAUGHTER ) ACCORDING TO REPORTS, ACCORDING TO REPORTS, THE TWO DISCUSSED “THE PROSPECT OF COORDINATING EXPRUGZ U.S. ACTION.” OH, I THINK YOU’VE BEEN COORDINATING FOR A WHILE. ACCORDING TO THE KREMLIN, WHEN DISCUSSING NORTH KOREA, THE PRESIDENT OF RUSSIA CALLED FOR RESTRAINT AND AN EASING OF TENSIONS. YOU KNOW THINGS ARE BAD WHEN PUTIN IS THE VOICE OF RESTRAINT. “EH, DONALD MAKE YOU COULD COOL IT WITH THE TWEETS. IT COMES OFF AS A LITTLE CRAZY.” ( APPLAUSE ) PUTIN FANS. A LOT OF…