The Constitution Made Heidi Schreck Horny
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The Constitution Made Heidi Schreck Horny


MY NEXT GUEST IS AN ACTRESS AND
PLAYWRIGHT WHOSE HIT SHOW, “WHAT THE CONSTITUTION MEANS TO ME”
JUST MOVED TO BROADWAY. PLEASE WELCOME HEIDI SCHRECK! ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
( APPLAUSE )>>Stephen: WELL, THANKS FOR
BEING HERE. THIS SHOW IS– IS FASCINATING. YOU WROTE THIS PLAY, IT
PREMIERED OFF BROADWAY. IT BECAME A MASSIVE HIT, AND NOW
IT’S COMING TO BROADWAY. GOT IT RIGHT HERE. THERE YOU GO. IT’S “WHAT THE CONSTITUTION
MEANS TO ME.” AT THE HELEN HAYES THEATER. FIRST OF ALL, CONGRATULATIONS.>>THANK YOU.>>Stephen: WHAT IS IT ABOUT? ( APPLAUSE ).>>THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH. EVERYONE IS APPLAUDING THE
CONSTITUTION. THAT’S SO EXCITING. IT’S– IT’S ACTUALLY A VERY
PERSONAL LOVE STORY ABOUT A TEENAGED GIRL’S BAD ROMANCE WITH
THE CONSTITUTION.>>NOW, OKAY, LET’S GET TO THE
TEENAGED GIRL PART.>>SURE.>>Stephen: BECAUSE THIS IS–
THIS IS A PHOTO– YOU ARE 15 YEARS OLD HERE.>>YEAH.>>Stephen: AND IT SAYS,
“WINNING AN AMERICAN LEGION ORATORICLE CONTEST.” WHAT WAS THE CONTEST AND WHAT
DID YOU WIN?>>OH, I WON SO MUCH MONEY. THE CONTEST– BASICALLY, WHEN I
WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I WOULD TRAVEL THE COUNTRY GIVING
SPEECHES ABOUT THE CONSTITUTION AT AMERICAN LEGION HALLS FOR
PRIZE MONEY. THIS WAS A SCHEME INVENTED BY MY
MOM, WHO IS A DEBATE COACH TO HELP ME PAY FOR COLLEGE. I WAS ACTUALLY ABLE TO PAY FOR
MY ENTIRE COLLEGE EDUCATION THIS WAY. ( APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU, YES.>>Stephen: THAT’S A LOT OF
SPEECHES.>>IT’S A LOT– IT WAS 30 YEARS
AGO, AND IT WAS A STATE SCHOOL, SO DON’T GET TOO EXCITED. BUT IT WAS A LOT OF SPEECHES,
YEAH. ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO, I DECIDED I
WANTED TO MAKE A PLAY BASED ON THIS EXPERIENCE. AND I ENDED UP MAKING A MUCH
MORE PERSONAL PLAY THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD. I– THE PLAY BECAME ABOUT THE
STORIES OF THE WOMEN IN MY FAMILY, THE WAY THEIR LIVES HAVE
BEEN SHAPED BY THE CONSTITUTION, THE WAY THE CONSTITUTION HAS
FAILED THEM OVER GENERATIONS.>>Stephen: I UNDERSTAND THAT
IT’S AN INTENSELY PERSONAL STORY.>>YES.>>AND THAT IT CAN BE
NERVE-RACKING FOR YOU TO DO THIS, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU FIRST
STARTED DOING IT.>>UH, YES. UH, ITS FIRST TIME I EVER
PERFORMED IT PUBLICLY– LET ME SAY, JUST TO GIVE YOU A LITTLE
CONTEXT. I HAVE A– I HAVE A HISTORY OF
DOMESTIC ABUSE ON MY MATERNAL SIDE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT. AND THAT IS IN THE PLAY. AND THE FIRST TIME I GOT TO THAT
SECTION OF THE PLAY, I HAD A PANIC ATTACK AND JUST TURNED
AROUND AND WALKED OFF STAGE. I WAS LIKE THIS IS A TERRIBLE
IDEA.>>Stephen: IN FRONT OF THE
AUDIENCE, YOU LEFT?>>YEAH, I JUST LEFT. YEAH, I WAS LIKE, NEVER MIND. I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS.” EVERYONE RUSHED BACK STAGE, MY
HUSBAND, THE DIRECTOR, THE ARTISTIC DIRECTOR OF THE
THEATER. AND THEY WERE LIKE, “PLEASE GO
BACK OUT.” AND I WAS LIKE, “NO, THANK YOU.” AND MY HUSBAND SAID, “YOU KNOW,
I’M SITTING BEHIND THIS ROW OF YOUNG WOMEN, AND THEY’RE VERY
INTO THE PLAY, AND THEY CLEARLY WANT AND NEED TO HEAR WHAT
YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT.” AND I WAS LIKE, “YEAH, NO,
THAT’S OKAY.” AND THEN HE WAS LIKE, “WHAT IF I
GIVE YOU A SHOT OF TEQUILA?” AND I WAS LIKE, “OKAY.” ( LAUGHTER ).>>Stephen: WE HEARD ABOUT
THIS SO, WE’RE– WE’RE– WE’RE PREPARED. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
DO YOU HAVE A SHOW TONIGHT?>>YES, RIGHT HERE!>>Stephen: HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO. OKAY, SO HERE, LET’S GET GOING
HERE. THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO. PLEASE DO ENJOY. HERE, STEADY THE NERV NERVES THE
WHILE I ASK YOU THE NEXT QUESTION.>>I MIGHT KEEP IT FOR WHEN I
PANIC, IF THAT’S OKAY?>>Stephen: OKAY, WE’LL KEEP
IT RIGHT HERE. IT’S THE ESCAPE HATCH RIGHT
THERE.>>THANK YOU.>>Stephen: AS IT ALWAYS IS. NOW, I’LL BITE– WHAT’S THE
CONSTITUTION AND WHY SHOULD I CARE? ( LAUGHTER )
I HEAR A LOT OF TALK ABOUT IT, AND I’VE BEEN MEANING TO GET–
I’VE BEEN MEANING TO GETTING AROUND TO READING IT. BUT IT’S JUST ONE OF THOSE
THINGS. IT’S ON THE BEDSIDE TABLE.>>YEAH, YEAH.>>Stephen: WHY ARE YOU SO
ATTRACTED TO THE CONSTITUTION?>>I– I DON’T KNOW. AS A TEENAGED GIRL, I REALLY
WAS, THOUGH. I WAS KIND OF, LIKE, EXCITED BY
TAS– LIKE, KIND OF HORNY FOR IT. ( LAUGHTER )
I WAS REALLY –>>Stephen: LIKE FOR THE
CONSTITUTION OR FOR JAMES MADISON? LIKE, WHO–
>>SADLY, I WAS REALLY INTO JUSTICE WILLIOM O’ DOUGLAS. I LOVE THE NINTH AMENDMENT AND
HE –>>Stephen: WHY?>>SO THE NINTH AMENDMENT
SAYS… WAIT A SECOND. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THE NINTH AMENDMENT SAYS THAT JUST BECAUSE A CERTAIN RIGHT IS
NOT LISTED IN THE CONSTITUTION, IT DOESN’T MEAN WE DON’T HAVE
THAT RIGHT. IT’S LIKE AWE LITTLE ESCAPE
HATCH WHERE THEY SAID, “WE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE– WE
DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING, AND THAT IN THE FUTURE THERE, MIGHT BE
THINGS WE CANNOT IMAGINE, AND WE’RE GOING TO PUT THIS
AMENDMENT HERE THAT SAYS’ DON’T ASSUME BECAUSE IT’S NOT IN THE
CONSTITUTION YOU DON’T HAVE THAT RIGHT. ‘. IT’S WONDERFUL. SO THAT AMENDMENT–
( APPLAUSE ) YES, RIGHT?>>Stephen: IS THAT– IS
THAT– CAN I JUST ASK YOU FOR A SECOND?>>SURE.>>Stephen: WHY– WHY THAT’S
WONDERFUL TO YOU?>>WELL, IT’S WONDERFUL TO ME
BECAUSE IT’S THE AMENDMENT THAT MADE BIRTH CONTROL LEGAL. IT’S THE AMENDMENT THAT–
( APPLAUSE ) YES.>>Stephen: IS IT THAT– IS
IT– WHEN I HEAR IT, I THINK OH, BASICALLY THE FRAMERS OF THE
CONSTITUTION ARE SAYING, “LOOK, WE HAVEN’T SPECIFICALLY SAID YOU
CAN’T DO IT. BASICALLY EVERYTHING IS– IS
ALLOWED.”>>UH, WELL, THEY DIDN’T QUITE
SAY THAT.>>Stephen: NO, THEY SAID IT
THE WAY YOU SAID IT. BUT I’M SAYING THEY COULD HAVE
SAID IT MY WAY. YES.>>I CAN TELL YOU MORE LATER. IT DID ALLOW–
( LAUGHTER ) BECAUSE AS I’M SEWER YOU KNOW…>>Stephen: YES, OH, I KNOW A
LOT. I’M PROVING MY KNOWLEDGE OF THE
CONSTITUTION RIGHT NOW.>>FEMALE BODIES WERE LEFT
ENTIRELY OUT OF THE CONSTITUTION.>>Stephen: COULDN’T VOTE.>>COULDN’T VOTE. WERE NOT CONSIDERED PEOPLE. WERE NOT CONSIDERED CITIZENS.>>Stephen: COULD HOLD SNRPT?>>COULD NOT HOLD PROPERTY. THEY WERE THE PROPERTY OF THEIR
HUSBANDS.>>Stephen: YEAH.>>SO THE NINTH AMENDMENT IS
WHAT THEY HAD TO USE WHEN THEY STARTED MAKING LAWS ABOUT OUR
BODIES, FOR EXAMPLE, THE RIGHT TO CHOICE, THE RIGHT TO BIRTH
CONTROL. THEY HAD TO USE THIS AMENDMENT
THAT HAS, YOU KNOW– THAT SAYS LIKE, “HEY, THERE ARE OTHER
THINGS WE FORGOT ABOUT.” THEY HAD TO USE THE NINTH
AMENDMENT TO MAKE DECISIONS ABOUT OUR BODIES, BECAUSE WHEN
THEY MADE THE CONSTITUTION THEY WERE JUST LIKE, “WE DON’T KNOW
WHAT THIS IS!” ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: THAT’S A VERY– THAT’S A VERY GOOD IMPRESSION OF
A MAN. I HAVE TO SAY.>>THANK YOU, THANK YOU. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
THANK YOU. ♪ ♪ ♪
>>Stephen: WELL, WE’VE GOT TO GO.>>WHAT? NO!>>Stephen: YEAH, WE DO. WE DO, UNFORTUNATELY–
>>WAIT, WAIT.>>Stephen: GO AHEAD.>>Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR BEING HERE AND EXPLAINING BRIEFLY YOUR FAVORITE PARTS OF
THE CONSTITUTION. “WHAT THE CONSTITUTION MEANS TO
ME” IS IN PREVIEWS AT THE HELEN HAYES THEATER NOW. HEIDI SCHRECK, EVERYBODY! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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