The Founding Fathers Were Not Gods | Full Frontal on TBS
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The Founding Fathers Were Not Gods | Full Frontal on TBS


If we’ve learned anything
in American politics, it’s that the fastest way to
win a debate is bring a bunch of dead white guys with you. [LAUGHTER] But the people
running for president on the Democratic side are
talking about assault weapons ban and gun confiscation. That is the exact thing
that the Founding Fathers wrote the Second Amendment
about, to protect us from those Democrats. We need to go back to
our Founding Fathers– The way that our
Founding Fathers intended. Founding Fathers– Founding Fathers– Founding Fathers– Founding Fathers– SEAN HANNITY: By the way,
turn off the air conditioner. Start sweating like
the rest of America. You know what? Use fans like our Founding
Fathers and framers did. [LAUGHTER] The thought of Hannity
making sweat angels on his bed should be enough to make
you question everything. And if it doesn’t,
maybe this will. Yes, the Founding Fathers,
creators of the Constitution. So it’s no wonder
politicians are always making points by invoking them, right? Otherwise, it’d be really
scary that today’s technically advanced, massively
diverse USA is relying on the 18th
century’s hottest takes. Hear ye, hear ye. Before the founders issue
a decree on net neutrality, they would like to
know what kind of rope this net is made of. [LAUGHTER] Is it hemp? Fish guts? SAMANTHA BEE: But let’s
be clear about one thing. They were not gods. Let’s get the big
one out of the way. [APPLAUSE] Most of the guys who
wrote America’s moral code thought it was fine to
own another human being. In fact, George Washington
not only owed 124 slaves, he leased another 40
from his neighbor. I cannot tell a lie. I think people rental is fine. I cannot tell a lie George
could be a real ass-wig. Enlightenment icon Ben Franklin? One of his first big ideas
for the electricity he discovered– killing
turkeys with it, and almost killing himself
while trying it out. And later, Professor
Knee Socks proposed eliminating six letters
from the alphabet, including C and
J. What an akass. The Founders were also
dumb ass fan boys. On a diplomatic
visit to England, Jefferson and Adams
vandalized Shakespeare’s home, chipping off a souvenir
piece of his chair. Speaking of signatures,
the not at all overcompensating John Hancock? A smuggler who made a
fortune in contraband teeth, wine, and rock, who
patriotically championed a boycott of British goods that
made those things even more valuable. Gouverneur Morris, who wrote the
preamble to the Constitution, died trying to clear a
blockage from his penis with a whale bone,
which is crazy since by 1806,
standard treatment was to simply drill a second
hole in the side of the penis. [LAUGHTER] So the next time you hear a
politician invoke the Founding Fathers to defend their
right to own a laser scope, Wi-Fi enabled, military
grade weapon that can fire 800 rounds
a minute, remember James Madison, who wrote
the Second Amendment, lived in an era when it
took a full minute just to load a gun with one shot. Plus he was shorter
than Jeff Sessions. All gods are at least 5’6″. That’s just science. The Founding Fathers did
some pretty great things. And yes, the Constitution
was one of them. But that document is not
the infallible word of gods. It’s just the best a bunch of
pretty smart dudes with lots of competing, not always
honorable interests, could do to create a framework
for American democracy while not inconveniencing
slave owners too much. Also fun fact, they’re
dead and we’re not. So it’s up is still
alive us to deal with our currently
unfolding cowardice and that’s because
they were not gods. We’ll be right back. [APPLAUSE]

100 Comments

  • danieljed20015

    She makes me love the Founding Fathers evern more. BTW Washington freed his slaves. Historical context matters. John Hitchcock "smuggling" British goods. Who cares? They were tyrants on anthoer continent thag lead to the revolution war.

  • C Kirk

    Of course the Fox crew (Shawn Insanity, *ucker Carlson, et. al.) will still cling to the founding fathers argument to defend the Second Amendment, so here's another zinger to add to your list, Samantha.
    -The Bill of Rights (including the 2nd Amendment) was crafted almost a decade after the Constitution itself to give them time to work out all the details of the basic/minimums human rights they wanted to specifically protect without holding up the basic document that would actually form our country as a nation, since there was a lot of disagreement about what to include. The Constitution specifically prohibits a standing army, as well as any military action on foreign soil. That's the main reason they even included the 2nd Amendment. Remember, the first 4 words are: "A well regulated militia…" The militias were on-call civilians, including every able-bodied male of a specified age, under the sole authority of that state's governor (but were subject to national service in case of a national emergency). Because militia duty was compulsory, every man had to have his own firearm. State militias are specifically prohibited from being activated on foreign soil; and are regulated by and under the authority of the governor. This gave every free man of legal age (the only ones with any rights back then) the right to keep and bear arms. Those who had firearms had one and knew how to use it. Most people lived in towns however, so no one carried their firearms with them. Only on the western frontier were men wearing guns around, and even then it wasn't the majority. It simply wasn't practical. They looked st them as tools, not status symbols or to boost their fragile masculinity. Sorry I got carried away but I figure Samantha might enjoy it if she sees it. Great show, as always!

  • Robert Davis

    This gal is a fine propagandist … The reality is, the 2nd amendment, nor the Constitution aren't going anywhere anytime soon … If you read the Federalist papers, you can gain some serious insight into why the U.S. Government was formed the way it is …as a Republic ..and why the rights that are enshrined in the Bill of Rights were put there .. It was done to protect against times such as these where a populist mentality threatens to create what the founders saw as a tyranny of the majority

  • werewolfassasyn

    Look, we all know 'x' is a garbage-fire of a letter and we'd be better off without it. What's X got that ks doesn't, hmmm? Sure, it's reputation would have you believe that X is a letter for kool kidz, but that's just pRO X PROPAGANDA!!! (Also, Q is just trumped-up K and C's only unique sound is 'ch', everything else it does is swiped from K and S. Not sure what Benjamin Franklin thought he was doing goin' after J tho, dumb son of a bitc). English spelling is a hot mess and could do with some reform, including paring down the alphabet to only the letters we actually need, fIGHT ME!

  • Squid Robertson

    If a text like the constitution can be amended to take into account new circumstances then so can any text, even the bible – and they cant allow that.

  • Daniel

    Isn’t the second commandment literally about not worshipping people? I honestly think this is really a point “conservative Christians” need to reckon with.

  • joselo 3112

    @ the time their tools were the same as the invaders. ….
    BUT HOW DO U have a conversation WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU?
    Demeaning your constitutional rights and talking bad about your own !!!
    Leave the country if your ashamed of being an American

  • Richard Llewellyn

    Only 10% of New Zealanders have handed in their guns, and research into the Christchurch Mosque shooter by Sibel Edmonds has uncovered he was an Australian Jew with ties to MOSSAD. It becomes highly likely this shooting event was State sponsored for a political agenda. Perhaps a test run for American disarmament by the Globalist Zionist Cabal either way it aint working in NZ, and PM Ardern is toast next election.

  • gnshapiro

    The only thing Sam got wrong is that Franklin's suggestion to eliminate letters from the alphabet was reasonable, given the weirdness of English: we don't need hard c AND k, soft c AND s, k AND q, soft g, AND j, etc….

  • Bobby Brown

    …and yet the painting on the ceiling of the Capitol is called "The Apotheosis of (George) Washington", literally Washington becoming a god. I guess someone forgot to warn the Founding Fathers that Sam Bee would be throwing shade at them in 2019 so don't get too cocky with the design of the Capitol.

  • Chris Mitchell

    This is always the trap Democrats fall in. Conservatives don't care about the founding fathers any more than anyone else. They just want to do whatever they want to do and they justify it however they can. They support gun ownership because the NRA pays them to. It's their job.

    But Democrats then engage with the substance of their argument, when the GOP isn't interested in that. So Samantha Bee and others make videos arguing against the the deity of the Founding Fathers, which legitimizes the argument the GOP is just using as a shield.

    If you really care about gun control, you have to make the lobbying and campaign contributions illegal. The second Mitch McConnell's check doesn't clear, no one in the GOP is gonna argue for gun rights.

    Anything less is just allowing the GOP to frame the issue in a way that creates ceaseless debate, which is fine with them, because it means the NRA keeps donating.

  • Kit Coffey

    Housing and healthcare as human rights encoded in the Constitution. For everyone who complains government doesn't do enough, if these were guaranteed rights the way they are in other nations, we could actually make progress on, for example, uninsured people and homelessness, because then cities and communities wouldn't have to constantly fight for funding for healthcare and housing. Stop voting against your interests, people!

  • Jamie Hart

    but, do we really need all those letters? Especially C, what does it bring to the table? We already got K and S, what else do we need it for?

  • Luvenia Vaughan

    America, a country that came about through treason and the massacre of MILLIONS of people ALREADY here. Samantha was really quite lenient on our Founding Fathers and if we were to really look into their character or lack thereof we would not bring them up as much or ask our children to emulate them. I know that every country lies about how great they are but don't you think it is time to tell the truth or at least keep the LIES to a minimum? Think about this, America is SUPPOSE to be a Republic but it isn't, not really. In the beginning, ONLY WHITE MEN who owned land had the right to vote. The Electoral College made sure that the power to elect a President STAYED in the hands of the FEW, mainly the few CONSERVATIVES.

    If you read the very short 2nd Amendment you would see that it does NOT grant us the right to own any kind of gun we want. It also states that people who own guns are supposed to belong to a "well regulated Militia" and those do NOT exist. All we have now is a bunch of individuals out to take advantage of a poorly written amendment. "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

  • BetterLifeAhead

    It's funny how the people who are the least familiar with the Constitution are the ones most likely to treat it like the word of god

  • Ryan Bianchi

    We need to repeal the 1st amendment because news wasn’t on television so they didn’t understand freedom of press to today’s extent! And there weren’t Muslims or Hindus in the country so they didn’t understand freedom of religion to today’s extent!

  • Stephen Mataganog

    This is exactly what what I was just saying!
    I'm 5'6".
    So everyone should listen to me.😛

    But really, I say the part about the guns they had back then all the time.

  • Vinista

    … or, as one of the founding fathers himself put it:
    "I am increasingly persuaded that the earth belongs exclusively to the living and that one generation has no more right to bind another to it's laws and judgments than one independent nation has the right to command another."
    –Thomas Jefferson

  • CitanulsPumpkin

    Daniel Tosh said it best about a decade ago. "The Founding Fathers were a bunch of racist pigs with a couple good ideas."

    It's sad when a mid tier stand up comic has more common sense than literally the entire republican party and the fake news media outlet that broadcasts their on going campaign of ignorance and hate speech.

  • Jorge Stolfi

    I saw a history prof on some channel explaining how and why the Second Amendment was added, and why it has that stilted and ambiguous redaction. Basically, some state governors were afraid that the Federal Government would mobilize regular military from their states to fight a war somewhere else, creating the risk of a revolt of their slaves. The "well regulated militia" would then protect the security of the "people" by keeping the "non-people" in check.

  • John Willetts

    Much of the American constitution came straight from a branch of our Whig (Liberal) who called themselves Patriots. They were opposed by the ruling Tory Party. This conflict spread to the colonies. Not having representation in the British Parliament, this led to violence and revolution.

    In the U.K. “ A well regulated civilian militia” become just that, trained civilian soldiers to protect communities. This ultimately led to the modern civilian Police Force.
    In the US “A well regulated militia” became totally unregulated as every citizen became a member.

  • John Willetts

    From U.K. Working towards a gun free culture:-
    1) License system that excludes criminals, mentally ill, incompetent and underage. Police can take away a License if they are not happy with a persons behaviour.
    2) Minimum sentence here for having an unlicensed gun is ten years. Much longer if used in a crime. Consequently criminals are afraid to carry. With criminals not carrying, regular Police don’t need too. Civilians don’t feel that they need a gun for protection.
    3) Social Attitudes: Here any man with an interest in guns is seen as a weak coward. That sense of power a gun nut feels with a gun in his hand is replaced with embarrassment. So mentally ill feel a gun makes the wrong statement.
    4) It’s still possible to get a gun here, but only if you have a good reason. Membership of a sport or hunting club for example. Gun shops have almost disappeared.

  • Maxwell's Deamon

    As a non American following the US news, its really disturbing and frustrating often the founding fathers are brought into a debate.
    I don’t even know who wrote the constitution of my country and I don’t really care. The important thing is the document and how it relates to today, not about how some guys from a few hundred years ago might think it applies to todays problems.

  • Artem Bentsionov

    Like Colbert said once, if Reps insist on interpreting the Constitution the way they claim it was originally intended, then they have to insist that the 2nd Amendment only allows the use of single-shot muzzle-loading muskets, and the government can only make deals with countries that existed at the time, like Siam, Prussia, and the Ottoman Empire.

  • Andrew Rassel

    "I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and Constitutions. But laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors."

    -Thomas Jefferson

  • Bob Rolander

    and Joe Biden is NOT a nice guy. He's a sexist (Anita Hill) and a racist: "It's your own fault, uhhh, more record players, uhh…"

  • Timothy Kalahar

    Everyday things the founding fathers didn't take into account:
    -guns more advanced than the musket.
    -airplanes
    -cars
    -the internet
    -cell phones
    -plastics technology
    -electric grids
    -international manufacturing destroying local economies
    -women voting
    -black and brown people voting
    -women being financial providers
    -human population over 1,000,000,000
    -modern medicine

  • Asher Tye

    Never forget, human society as a whole does not advance by leaps and bounds, but by steps and inches. What was seen as progressive and innovative in terms of moral outlook yesterday easily is seen as inhuman and archaic by today's standards, and more than likely that same pattern will hold true for the future.

  • Lubus Maximus

    Gods? Sheesh whooever ( whomever ) thinks that is destined for the loony bin or some really nice retirement in Florida, or Bermuda, place like that…the folks who think theyre gods could probably go to church for some help, maybe yell Jesus! please Jesus! amen d mental ideas+words that were written when you were just 12 years old, please Jesus!

    #PrayersAndThoughts

  • Cnite Vedi

    Ya.. immigrate to another country and then start spitting on its cherished principal… hope this hoarr goes back to Canada after 2020

  • ElectricPickleAttack

    "If men were angels, no government would be necessary. If angels were to govern men, neither external nor internal controls on government would be necessary. In framing a government which is to be administered by men over men, the great difficulty lies in this: you must first enable the government to control the governed; and in the next place oblige it to control itself." – Alexander Hamilton
    Seemed appropriate.

  • Chet Simmons

    If you can fawn all over a group of men that saw inhumane enslavent that destroyed lives as acceptable, then please shut up when we see common sense gun laws that could save lives as humane and rational.

  • James Yakura

    2:08 Hay, speling riform ihz ay gud aidi'a. Ui spel mihniht and mainut eksaktli þi saym dispait þem bi'ing pronounsd veri dihferihntli. Laikua'aiz, ui spel staik and staik dihferihntli dispait þem sounding þi saym. þi ua'ay ay uard iz speld shud riflekt hau iht ihz pronounsd.

  • -Gemberkoekje-

    Americans can't be trusted with guns. But banning them will still leave them on the black market. The only people that can't get them then are law abiding citezens and lazy not law abiding citezens. There's also the fact that Americans should be able to overthrow the government if it where to become oppressive. But I don't think the common American could stand a chance to one of the most powerfull if not the most powerfull government on the planet + her allies. Aspecialy in the future. It's a dilemma.

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